Done Yesterday

We'll soak it in a caustic soda bath says M. The old white plastic bin will do fine. The bath'll take a while but it'll strip all the paint off the metal. Then we can distress it a bit, steam punk it up, and it will be a perfect secret box for Tawd's new gigs at Music Box.

Well, the days go by...
And in January in Perth, it gets a lot, a lot, a lot hotter.
44 was it? 43?
Dunno, after 35 it's all nasty.
Scorching, cloudless, still and why the fuck aren't I at the beach or under an iceberg?

But to no avail. Back in the bath, still the fire-engine red reins supreme every time I check. To be fair, at last look, there was a sickly but self-effacing film comprised the worlds most pathetically small bubbles on the soda's surface, but still the paint lingered on, seemingly untrammeled by the supposedly intense chemical assault.

We need more paper by the way! It has to be the same size for all the typewriters and all the gigs to come, Web Designer says so. For when the 'secrets' are scanned and displayed on either the website or in the archive. And, it has to be not sooooo white; it's too new looking and hardly atmospheric or inviting, altogether too clinical. Well maybe we could dye some in tea baths I say to M. Yes, he says but it will make it all crumpled and more difficult to stack and for peeps to load onto the typewriter roll. Well, dammit, can't we just buy some, I need it yesterday. You and your bloody generation wants everything now now now says M rather too predictably but no less damningly and he's got a point.

So, I drag our sorry arses pronto to the local branch of the multi-national hardware chain; I must get the job done yesterday OK? The job being a second old tool box M has found coz one aint gonna be enough given the new paper size and all.
A liter of your finest paint stripper please... Home again home again jiggerty (sweaty) jog. then out the back with me, the goop, the brushes, gloves, apron, paper and scrapers.

Leave it on. Just leave it on! M again.
Nah... It's good look at the bubbles, big toxic proper bubbles...
Yeah but that's only the first layer and the scraping you've done looks pretty shite. Nah, it's fantastic. Look how quick it's working. Will be done in a jiffy old guy. You'll see.

It wasn't in a jiffy or even two. Molten paint scrapings get everywhere.
The box, despite my best efforts and in spite of the latest chem-tech that money can buy from virgin-rain-forest harvesters, LOOKED CRAP. It ended up at the end of a very hot WA summer arvo in the soda bath with the other one.

But not before...
Hey M, if this stuff works that fast on paint, this burning through these gloves isn't good right???

Now now now, grins M.

Mountains Molehills and the First Step, Part 2

I still have sleepless moments where I'm convinced catastrophe is just around the corner.
Even if I have discovered that I still have the ability to show up and focus on what I can.
I don't have to obsess about if the whole 'massive' collection of tasks that is this project or the next one; I still know somewhere that the whole thing will be OK, and so will I.

I still have eye liner stuck to my eye lashes despite several attempts to remove it.
That was from yesterday, the photo shoot for the new look Tawds for the PIAF shows and for APAM. Yesterday was a great day. Photos done, results to follow soon. On way from studio saw two deck chairs with a sign 'free' on them. Perfect for the 'waiting room' concept part of the show. Done.

Folks rang me to say that there neighbour down the road from there place in the hills just happens to repair and collect typewriters. Two more portables on there way to me in the post... done.

Studio sorted and directorial consultant in place for rehearsals... done.

Past secrets almost all logged and web designer ready to go... done

Despite myself and my fear-based lethargy, things are moving and the project will happen as envisaged and on time..OMFG...

OK, so maybe the bank balance is worse than it's been for ages, but that's not for ever and other things are gonna happen that will cover that too...

Point is all in all this version of the Manic Cures project is coming along...
And I am coming along...
I don't have to panic...
I really don't
;-)

:-)

Mountains, Molehills and Looking at the First Step, Part 1

To state the blindly obvious, sayings are sayings because they have been said lots.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, as they say. Or in my case, a longish swim begins with a single lap.

I love to swim laps. Perhaps it's not very patriotic for an Aussie, but I like a beach with lanes ropes and black centre lines along the bottom of the tiled or white cement floor. It's my exercise thing, and though I'm not fast or slow, I try to be consistent.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that I don't put it off or wince like a big girl if I think the water is gonna be cold. However, what I've noticed is that slowly, gradually, I seem to have got better at doing laps, doing them more regularly and with less fuss than before.

These days, when I get into the pool, my 40s body aches and my joints hurt blah blah blah. So? Well these days, I just try to focus my thinking on the actual lap I'm doing; I lose focus and think about a million other things too, but I try to come back to the lap I'm swimming. Sense it, enjoy it, and not freak out about it. What I don't think about these days, more and more, are any laps that may or may not come after the one I am currently swimming.

In the past I would think about all the other laps to follow, even before I started. The whole tedious job of trying to get fit/ stay fit would loom menacingly and unachievable before me. Suddenly, my body's normal aches and pains would hurt more, any number of new pains would make themselves known to me. Quickly, I'd become a hurty, brain-screaming, panic-stricken wuss and have to get the hell out of Dodge to seek solace in the spa or leave indignantly, and in hot pursuit of a latte to nurse the phantom pains and wounded pride.

Conclusions?
I think I have begun to really understand the difference between a mountain and a molehill.
Also, I have become better at not being daunted by the task ahead, rather I have become better at choosing to focus on the first step/part/action/lap instead.

The kewlest thing about these all-too-slowly developed insights, which seem to me at least to be well known by just about everybody else, is that they are rubbing off in other areas of my life.

James has been better able of late to break down 'the task' that is Tawds at PIAF and APAM in February 2010 AND NOT FREAK OUT...

I suck at blogs

I suck at blogs because:

I'm a naive blogger, unschooled, drifting in blog land with out a qualification.
I'm undisciplined and irregular as a blogger and everybody says you should do it a lot more than I can manage and at regular intervals.
I have decided or rather been able to settle upon a concise reason for this blog, there are lots and I don't really know which reason holds sway or is the most pressing.
I try unsuccessfully to write this blog about only the things that matter to Tawds, but that's bollocks because it's James monitoring the whole way. "Give it up already."

So what's the point?

Well, firstly it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.
I thought initially that it would become viral and well read.
Then I woke the frock up!!!
It's just a space is all.

So what if I suck at it?
What is that -sucking as a blogger- anyways?
I write what I want when I want about the Manic Cures Project and how I feel about it.
I'm gonna focus on that.
That doesn't suck to Tawds or to James!