Art Family and Inspiration

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Never underestimate the value of a slow burn approach.

Tawdry Heartburn

Home for the holidays, it's an On Christmas. Every second year we all gather at the folks' place in the hills and jam more than a dozen peeps into a place built for two. Off Christmases, are when we all go to in-laws or to our respective partners' families places and give the grand parents a rest.
This year almost didn't happen, simmering tensions and ''Don't mention the war!' But a last minute text from the eldest sibling - confirming well intended meddling - kept everyone on their best behaviour. Nothing like a Xmas gathering of all the clan to show you where you come from, like it or not; around a big table, the same receding hairline in all the brothers, the same olive skin in the nieces. I have heard it said that possibly as many as 25% of all kids may unwittingly or otherwise, be fathered by someone who isn't their biological father. It's very hard for me to believe such a secret lurks at this table. The ordinariness of this particular set of genes has re-emerged in all three generations present! But can such a get together with all the inherent sentiments and agendas lurking unavoidably beneath the surface show you much about where you are going?

Dunno... It's hard to be objective when the same old dynamics and triggers are just begging for a response.

Then it's off to the cousins to see their home and studios in a town nearby, leafy and hot, thunderous clouds looming above and it's quite cool out of the intermittent sun, it's definitely summer in the highlands, south of the equator. Good coffee and home made festive biscuits and a wonder through the gardens and the two artist-studios and large gallery built in the last ten years out the back of the originally small, broken down workers cottage. A quiet suburban street in a small country town and in what was a modest residence not so long ago there is now a kick-arse place of work and dreaming that is continuing the inspirations and practices to two increasingly well known artists.

There is a distant family connection here. However, what's much more interesting for me is the diligence and commitment of these two artists. Over the years, I have had a lot to do with artists and their ideas in many ways; as an artist myself, as a collaborator and as an assessor of artists' funding applications. As such, I don't think the strength of any artist lies overly much in their ideas; there are no new ideas anyway, and good ideas are as common as doggy doo. It is what you do with a good idea and how you commit to a good idea, that makes the difference. Does a family produce an artist? You could produce evidence to argue both sides of the case I guess. It would be my argument that perhaps what is more important is firstly,what you do with your practice and secondly what you do with your family once you are an artist?

Nevertheless, what sticks in my mind is the inspiration of practice itself and practice over time. Come rain or sun it is the doing that counts, and this commitment eventually, will confirm for yourself and others that you are in fact serious....
Or seriously nuts.

Note to Tawdry.
Keep blogging, keep building your site (aworldofsecrets.com) and keep harvesting secrets.....
And, in a world of instant gratification, stay focused on the things that bring meaning and hold to a path you have faith in.

"The secret of happiness is not doing what you like, but liking what you do."

James Matthew Barrie, best known as the creator of Peter Pan, 1860-1937

Guerrilla Pix

They hadn't slept. They came over to chill, just to hang, coming down.

"Sure, sounds like a good idea. Of course you can put it on your website.
And yeah, I'd love you to do my nails.
Nah not from here, do you know Paraparaumu?
Studying law and commerce.
We went to school together and after she started, she got me a job behind the bar.
Nah, it pays the bills.
She loves it for now; has a fair few regulars.
It's all good."

"Oh yeah, nice red.
Might take it further.
I've thought about training, not sure yet.
Last time I had my nails done, I ended up sleeping with the manicurist.
Didn't tell my boyfriend at the time, he would have wanted in."


I have a rental and I really wanna get a shot with the beehive.
Bit windy, well isn't that par for the course in this place?
Capital city buildings.
Some one's cohort of brass walks by, no one even bothers to notice...
In and out, guerrilla pix with 'Don't want people to think I'm some random munter' and friends.

DC3 LUST

So, I'm driving down one of the main streets of Taupo, in New Zealand and there is a burger joint, McUbiquitous blah blah blah and then, I have one of those blokes-on-the-beach, first-fleet kinda moments.

You know, the locals, having never seen tall ships before or the people on 'em, don't see them because they can't imagine the possibility of them. It's only when they notice the ripples of the water on the beach are unusual that they figure out something unusual is causing those 'weird' ripples. They look up and see, well, they see their world about to be turned upside down really.

So, back to Taupo, my world wasn't turned upside down, but only when I noticed the weird shadow in the car park, did I look up and see the huge silver wing of a DC3 over my head. Turns out McGlobal or rather, this particular franchise has it as part of their kiddie playground.

Against my better nature I go through the 'restaurant' to get to the playpen and then up the stairs to the play that has been tastefully fitted out with tables inside. Revisiting the past glories of this flying work horse is only a greasy portion of chips away.

Sadly a small bird had somehow got into the cock pit and had died, trapped in there. It's final resting place just to the side of the starboard pedal, head tilted at an odd angle, looking toward the port-side cockpit window. Unlike the bird, I could get in, have my fill of the memories and post-war, aerospace engineering, and get out again, safely, with body and diet intact.

What's the point of this story? I enjoyed it. I found myself thanking McFranchise and all the tourists who keep Taupo profitable. It's getting harder to be black and white, to dismiss things out of hand. I don't wanna eat in those establishments, but I will compromise if it means having a keenly desired or nostalgic experience not offered elsewhere.

Does Taupo have any secrets? Masses of them, as many undercurrents as there are thermal spots quietly boiling and steaming away: beauties, history, precious memories and unseen delights. However, in this instance it was the unexpected public displays that were the most fun.

FEAR

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. Saint Jerome

So I want to do this gig where I chat with folks whilst doing their nails and in return, they give me something they have been holding on to for perhaps a long time, but, they won't give me enough to connect the information back to themselves.

Am I nuts?

Who do I think I am to do this?

Who is going to want to do this?

Who in their right mind would permit me to take a 'valuable' piece of private information and publish it on the web?

Is anyone really going to be better off if I do this?

Are they really going to feel better for having done it?

More to the point right now, as I am still building this site and project, am I really going to go through with it?

Isn't this just another idea that gives me some fun and fancy for a while and then I gradually let it slip away, like so many others before it?

Aren't I going to be sitting at a table in some public place waiting for some stranger to interact with 'the show', and nobody is going do it?

Won't I just look like a fool?

Won't I just be an object of pity and derision, not to be taken seriously?

And then I decided to just acknowledge that I have a significant amount of fear and anxiety built up around this project already and, well, once I realised that, I just said to myself, 'You're kind of scared about this project Tawdry, aren't you? Yeah, I certainly am. Well so what?' Fear is just fear, and as one of my best girl buddies is always telling me, fears are not facts. It's no secret that this project both excites me and frightens me at the same time. Of course until Tawdry Heartburn's Manic Cures is much better known to me, and as the opening quote implies, you will probably see the fear in my eyes. Then again, I did feel a little fearful and anxious doing the photo shoot for Tawdry in Brisbane, but only initially. After a short while I began to relax and just enjoy the process and even began to find it a kind of actor's journey discovering who Tawdry is, in the flesh, as opposed to the imagined character that I had initially envisaged.

So, while I am in Wellington NZ, I will continue to scope out some venues for the next photo shoot and then as soon as there is a good day weather-wise, I do some more shots. And yes, I'm sure I will be a little scared, but in this construction phase, building up to the launch of the website and the first public performances in February, I am not scared enough to want to abandon this project. In fact, given all that I have learned over the last few months (with calamity visiting several friends and family members), life seems at the moment way too short to be wasting it through fear or by procrastinating.

But it is an interesting question, well to me at least. How much fear does it take to thwart one's dreams? Perhaps though, and more relevant for me, do fear levels ever subside when that fear is produced through or in and around things which we have newly begun to care significantly about. That is to say, I would have thought, the more one does things despite the fear, the easier it is in general to deal with this kind of fear. Not so. At least that hasn't been my experience. I still find myself quaking at the thought, and petrified by the action of bringing art projects to life. After twenty years or more of doing that, I had expected to be more resilient, even at this stage, impervious.

Well another friend who has quite a track record of making, nationally and internationally, said to me a while back, and funnily enough, with his so doing, he was giving me a valuable gift. It has been useful to think about it recently in the light of the feelings that this project has generated for me thus far, 'Tawdry, I've worked with some of the best in the world and they all get scared, but they do it just the same.'

The Show, The Vision & The Mission

“The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep”
Edgar Watson Howe

You may be wondering just what A World Of Secrets, and Tawdry Heartburn are all about. I have been thinking much the same thing, for quite a while! As you might have seen in the previous entry, Synchronicity, the name Tawdry Heartburn, a draggy word play on that movie star and you'd be surprised how many don't get it, has been rattling around in my head for years.(Depending which of my buddies you talk to, I've been blathering on about doing something with Audrey Hepburn/ Tawdry Heartburn for 5 or 6 years, but I didn't wanna do just another drag thing. Finally I realised early this year that Tawdry was a man! Funny how if you stick around for long enough, life conspires for a seemingly haphazard confluence of events to add up to something that is possibly well ordered and more significant. Know what I'm saying? Life falls into place and now all the pieces of the puzzle seem to make sense. However, trying to articulate that effectively and succinctly, well that's the trick, huh?

The project is basically, a free interactive performance and webwork (web network of sites, blogs, social networking pages) performed by Tawdry Heartburn, who is a character written and created by performing artist, teacher and qualified nail technician, James Berlyn. I knew that course would come in handy one day. God knows I hated the six months I ran my own business in a hair dressing salon in Sydney in the mid 90s! But that entry, "The Evolution of Tawdry" is for another day.

So, TAWDRY HEARTBURN'S MANIC CURES, can be a street performance or festival gig with just Tawdry doing the nails of participants/audience members, passers by or depending on the budget of the sponsor, promoter, funding body, there can be multiple Tawdrys, but the key element is that the audience doesn't pay. Tawdry does their nails and in return they write down on the note paper a genuine personal secret, and then fold it up like a ballot paper and put it into the cookie jar on Tawdry's table, and of course, they use ASSUMED NAMES ONLY!!!! But everyone is free to interact with Tawdry or the sites at no charge.
aworldofsecrets.com (launching in February 09)
Tawdry Heartburn on Facebook (now)
A World of Secrets on Myspace (coming)
and here! http://www.tawdrytawdry.blogspot.com/


As far as I can make out at this point in time, the vision behind the 'A World of Secrets' project is pretty simple.

"A world without the burden of secrets."

The mission, again at this point, though I guess it could change, is also pretty simple if a little more segmented,

"To assist by way of free performances and webwork, audience members/participants at Tawdry Heartburn's Manic Cures articulate without risk to themselves, their secrets, and in so doing, to provide an opportunity for those audience members/participants to feel better for having done it."


So that's the whole box and dice (as I understand it) as of this moment.
I have performances coming up soon and more of that later, so let me know what you think...

Cheers,

Tawdry

What's it all about, Alfie?

“The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep”

Edgar Watson Howe

Sychronicity

Wouldn't you know it, a world of funny names, including this one I've had bouncing around my head for years, and never knowing quite how I wanted to use it.
Finally, I discover that Tawdry Heartburn is a male manicurist on a global mission to unburden the world of its secrets. Naturally enough, I googled and searched months ago and that turned up nothing. I get my website and my show and my international mission to create world peace and bang! On the day of my launch an article from the end of September that mentions in passing a silent New York drag queen with the same name!!!!!
Well, just to put the record straight. I am no drag queen. I am a free public resource. I am a conduit to world peace. I am a performance-art / instilation / hybrid / multi-platform Manic Curist of Secrets.
I will do your nails for free...
All you have to do is give me a secret, a real secret. No names or even better, assumed names...
But a real secret just the same. If you come to a show you can write it on a piece of paper that gets folded up and put in the secret jar when I do your nails. Or soon you will be able to log onto the website and put your secret there.
Trust me I've been doing this gig for years and I know how much better people feel when they have finally told someone, that thing or things they have kept buried for years...

So would you do it? If I was performing in your town, on your street. Would you come up and say "Hi Tawdry, can I put a secret in your secret jar and would you do my nails please? Oh and, for today, you can call me Madonna."

So what's in a name huh? I don't even want to know your real one.
Truth is I am Tawdry Heartburn too and who really cares anyway.
I could also be TOM hanks, DICK cheney or HARRY winston, too/2/II
But if I was... Id assume a name just the same.

Tawdry Heartburn, welcome to Blogville Saturday 6 Dec 2008

This is Tawdry's Heartburn's blog.
If you don't know, Tawdry Heartburn is a global manic-curist of secrets.
FREE NAILS FOR SECRETS,
ASSUMED NAMES ONLY...
All will be revealed in the next few months on the site, aworldofsecrets.com
It's been a long day and the techo babble of getting this all going has fairly done my head in...
What's the point???
Do you keep secrets and wish that you didn't?
What if you could tell them and get away with it?
How would it feel?
What would it be like?
To get something off your chest...
To let something out of the bag...
To loosen your lips...
To let something slip...
Come find out, soon...